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On Friday evening, they piled into the car with luggage that looked like a small refugee camp. My sister-in-law, who had already started talking about her new keto diet (again) on the E39, my youngest daughter who had brought a doll that screamed ‘Mummy!’ every time someone coughed, and my brother-in-law who had brought a crate of Ringnes and a smile that said ‘I’ll sort everything out’.

I stood in the doorway like a true Bergen native: hot coffee in hand, a warm smile in place, and an inner voice whispering “you’ve survived this before, you can do it again”.

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Saturday morning at 06:47

I was woken by someone ‘helping out’ in the kitchen. That is to say: it sounded like a minor traffic accident involving a juicer, three children and a whole packet of cornflakes. My wife looked at me over her pillow with that look that says ‘you’re the adult here’.

I just laughed, because what else can you do?
My sister-in-law had brought her speciality: ‘a little extra’ – which means she’d brought both Danish pastries, Danish buns, two types of jam and a comment that ‘you’ve put on a bit of weight around the cheeks, dear’.

I replied that it’s the Bergen weather settling in, not weight. She laughed. I laughed. We’re both lying.

The highlight came on Saturday afternoon when my brother-in-law and I were going to ‘just have a quick barbecue’.
Three hours, five beers and a fire alarm later, we’d burnt both the sausages, our dignity and part of the neighbour’s hedge (don’t ask). The kids loved it.

They ran around like little wild animals with ketchup in their hair, shouting “Uncle’s the best!”. I felt like a hero for ten minutes, before I realised I’d forgotten to buy bread.

Sunday was characterised by the classic ‘let’s have a cosy time’ phase that always ends with everyone being a bit too tired and a bit too honest. My sister-in-law said something about upbringing. I said something about how people from Bergen don’t need upbringing, we’ve got spirit.

It went a bit quiet. Then we laughed. Because what the hell else are you supposed to do?

Final note:

The weekend was chaos. Complete, unadulterated chaos. But it was our chaos. The kind where you’re sitting at 11.30 pm with a final cup of tea, your sister-in-law has gone to bed, the kids are asleep (miraculously), and you look at your wife and think: “My God, how lucky I am to be allowed to love these crazy people.”

Family is like the weather in Bergen: you know it’s going to be wet, windy and a bit too much, but it’s still the only thing that makes you feel at home.

Thanks for the weekend, my lot.
Next time I’ll bring earplugs and a slightly smaller ego.

RECORDED BY: Dave // BERGEN , 2026